Difference Between Advising And Shaming

In this monumental works of the great shaikh Ibn Rajab Al Hanbali, the author provides essentaildeatil in discussing key points dealing with differences that arise between the Prople of Sunnah, and the manners and etiquette one should acquire when differing occurs.

He beautifully illustrates the difference betweeen advising that is encouraged, and shaming that is not permitted.

The difference between sincere advising and shaming Ibn Rajab al-Haafidh Ibn Rajab al-Hanbali, in his monograph al-Farq bain al-Naseehah w?al-Ta?eer.  One of the Companions said to his brother, ”Do not advise me until you can say something to my face which I dislike.”

And they disliked to command good and forbid evil in this way i.e. with shaming and re-probation, and they loved to be discrete about what went on between the enjoiner of good and the one being enjoined, for verily this is one of the signs of sincere advising.

For it is not the purpose of the sincere adviser to broadcast the short-coming of the one whom he is advising, and verily his purpose is only to remove the corruption which has occurred in him.

As for broadcasting and manifesting the short-coming, then this is part of what  Allah and His Messenger have forbidden.